You may want help with existing relationships. Or you may want help getting into a healthy, happy relationship. You may come from a family where there was a lot of hurt. Or you may be in a family that needs healing now. You may have been hurt in a relationship, and seek healing within it. Or you may want help getting out of an unhealthy relationship.

I will guide you as you improve your relationships. My work is eclectic. I have learned many approaches to psychotherapy, and have found that no one approach is good for all people. Some approaches are good for many people, some are good only for a few people, but only in very specific circumstances. The approaches I draw on most frequently are mindfulness of present experience, problem-solving, cognitive-behavioral (changing thinking or behaviors), psychodynamic (basically, a respect for the power of the unconscious), and family systems (a focus on inter-relationships).

I offer more than a decade of experience in looking deeply at relationships, helping people see more clearly what is needed, and helping them modify their approaches for better results or more intimacy.

You might come to therapy for just about anything. Sadness, depression, a wish for more joy, for example. Or anxiety, worry, fear of public speaking, panic attacks, phobias, or courage to try new things. Or any of a host of other conditions thought of as ‘emotional.’ My training was in a mental health clinic where we treated a wide variety of conditions. I learned that often a person coming in for one reason turns out to want help with something else. I learned to be cautious with diagnosis, since I have never met two people with exactly the same situation or problem, and the nature of diagnosis is to categorize individuals. It is best to expect to meet a unique you, and to have broad background and training.

Two people come together, usually with so much hope, then something happens that makes the whole relationship very vulnerable. Figuring out what is going on, looking below the surface, helping identify what is truly important, and what to do about it, is the beginning of the process of couples counseling. Then comes the work of expressing and healing feelings. Altogether, this can be an intense process, although each couple proceeds at its own pace. There are many, many approaches to couples work. I have found that none of them is right for all couples. Instead, my approach is eclectic, drawing on elements of different approaches based on the needs of each couple as they progress through this therapy.

With younger children, play is the work of therapy. Many children are not as verbal as adults, so there is less talk. Instead, children tend to move ahead through play. My job is to set up play materials so that they stimulate the situation the child needs to resolve. Once the child has become comfortable with the materials I will comment on his or her play in ways to help the child. Sometimes I’ll join in the play, if that is more productive. This is a fascinating process, as many children are quite open even though they are not highly verbal, and the interactions between child and therapist can often deal with difficult material quite directly, through the play.

Treating children can be complex, because sometimes the problem relates solely to the internal world of the child, and at other times it relates to the styles of interaction between child and parents. I meet with and understand the parent or parents in order to do this work well. I need to know their concerns for their child, and also I need to know them as individuals.

Of course every child is different, and my approach is always based on an assessment made with the help of the parent or parents, and my treatment is tailored to the needs of that particular child.

Issues around individuation, identity, sex, drugs, dating, isolation, discipline, anger and sadness are common with teens.

Work with adolescents is usually verbal, but when therapy is ongoing it can involve wide-ranging discussions as non-verbal material is processed by the teen. Where younger children tend to disclose easily and freely (albeit non-verbally), for many teens the issue centers around what to disclose and what not to disclose. Teens being exposed to many temptations often learn that talking to an adult is the last thing they want to do, so a big part of my job can be establishing trust that I am OK to hear “the good, the bad, and the ugly.” Part of that is also discussing safety and when I will put their safety ahead of confidentiality, at certain levels of danger.

Parents of adolescents want to know what is going on for their child. This is a quality of parents that is wonderful for children, protecting them from harm and teaching them as they mature. It can be hard for parents of adolescents to know when to loosen the reins, and how much. Often, they have to use guesswork, as their teen may not be very communicative. This is especially hard since teens mature at vastly different speeds, some still needing strong parental involvement even after their teen years. Ideally, I am a working partner with parents as well as with the teen. It is a delicate matter for me to decide how much to disclose, balancing appropriate parental concern with the teen’s wish for independence and confidentiality. This discussion can take a lot of time, but it is not wasted, since it is relevant to the common issues of separation and building identity.

Family life can bring some of the deepest, warmest feelings to life. Families can also involve incredible pain and suffering. Treating people in the context of family is often a critical part of treatment. However, the family doesn’t always need to be present. An individual in my office can summon up plenty of family material with my guidance.

We are social beings, and we first learn about the world through our families. Often, remedies for individual issues come through family therapy, through altering relationships within the family, or saying things that need to be said within the family. Sometimes family therapy includes parents and children, sometimes grandparents as well.

Often family therapy is mixed with individual and couples therapy as the focus changes from individual behavior and feelings to inter-relationships.